Well, for the second week in a row I find myself severely disappointed in the results show.Â Seriously, “jidges?”Â Losing Iveta and Nick and keeping Ryan and Ricky after that abysmal jazz performance last week?Â I can’t.Â I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said.
I’m also sorry to report that I suffered a cable outage in my area of Brooklyn today, which means I was left without the first half of the show when I returned home.Â Despite attempts to pirate it off the internet, I remain sadly in the dark on the first hour of the show.Â Please feel free to toss out some opinions on those routines in the comments.
I pick up with Melanie and Marko being told by Lil C that they are a pair of limited edition Swiss Army Knives; it’s nice to know that apparently nothing has changed.Â Also, I’m not certain but I think Melanie may have been dressed in a cast off from Minnie Mouse’s wardrobe.Â Then Nigel kisses Mary and it starts to get really odd.Â Oh and Kristen Chenoweth is the guest judge!Â Â And then she kisses Lil C.Â Then Nigel kisses Lil C.Â Everything has gone completely off the rails, and Cat finally manages to get the producers to cut to commercial.Â Bless her.
Ashley and Chris are the first routine I actually get to see, and they’ve drawn jazz with The Tayeh.Â The Tayeh is inspired by Beetlejuice; I feel like that’s kind of implied after you meet her.Â Ashley and Chris dance the weirdness of the routine well, though I’m still not sure what the routine actually was trying to represent.Â Chris did point his toes though!Â And what do you know, Nigel agrees with me, and says he didn’t connect with the story (because there wasn’t any!).Â Then Mary brings up Chris’ pointed toe, and I am clearly ready to be brought on as a guest judge because I’m beating the judges to their critique.
Clarice and Jess are next.Â I’m deeply inclined to dislike this routine, as these two are still here and Iveta and Nick are gone; I can only assume that if Ryan and Ricky haven’t taken the stage yet I’ll be blind with rage when they show up.Â These two have a foxtrot with Jean Marc Genereaux.Â I’d say they dance it fairly well, though again they appear to be doing much better apart rather than together.Â Those lifts are not looking effortless.Â The judges go crazy for it, particularly Kristen who says it’s her favorite of the night.Â Meh.Â Still not impressed.
Ryan and Ricky are next.Â Ugh.Â There was a time I really liked Ryan, but she does not deserve to be here this week.Â Nor does her partner.Â And when Nigel inevitably says that whatever they dance tonight proved the judges were right for keeping them, I’m going to be doubly irritated.Â They get contemporary with The Tayeh.Â Seriously?Â They had contemporary or jazz last week, and they bombed it.Â Give them hip-hop or the quick step or something.Â Shockingly, it’s about a relationship ending.Â This is ground-breaking stuff.Â They dance the duet which is given something a little different by a large sash that physically embodies the tie between them; I’d say it’s better than their first two dances, but I don’t think the connection between them was particularly strong.Â But Ryan wasn’t smiling, so I guess that’s a huge step up for her.Â Naturally the judges love it; naturally Nigel is proud that they kept Ryan last week.Â What.Â Ever.
Jordan and Tadd have a hip hop routine from Tabitha and Napolean; the choreographers say it’s a love story, which causes me to roll my eyes.Â It then quickly becomes apparent that it’s actually a story about a one night stand which, given the fact that they can’t remember anything the next morning, could either be a daring story about the dangers of black out drinking or simply a revelation that both of them are sluts.Â This just got interesting.Â Then Tadd pops up without a shirt on, and gets even more interesting.Â They bop around the stage, and I must admit I’m highly entertained.Â I don’t know that Jordan is hitting as hard as she should be, but she’s getting through the routine and generally keeping up with Tadd; she does start to slip into a smile a little early, but I’m nit-picking.Â After all, since the routine ends with them hopping back into bed, I would probably be smiling too if I was dancing it.Â The judges love it, though they make a few side comments about the fun story overwhelming the technique.Â I’ll take fun story overwhelming technique any day rather than the other way around.
Aaaand…now we have a group routine.Â I’ve clearly missed something.Â This routine is about all the women of the town poisoning all the men…okay, at least it’s not about a relationship ending or beginning.Â Well, I guess there are relationships ending, but in a much more interesting way.Â Sadly, the routine doesn’t follow through on the promise, and winds up seeming a little flat; for a supposed mass poisoning there are an awful lot of unison pirouettes.
Tomorrow night, two more get the boot!Â I can’t begin to suppose who it would be this week, as I missed 50% of the performances…let me know what you’re predicting!
– Cat singing “in the corners of my mind…” after Nigel said the routine brought back memories was adorable.Â I love Cat.
-Kristen Chenoweth was a surprisingly toothless guest judge.Â I would have thought she would be overall nice, but unlike Megan Mullally, just seemed to blindly praise everything.Â Maybe next time she could guest judge as April Rhodes.
-For the next two weeks, I’ll be out of the country, but not to worry loyal readers; my talented colleague Erika Villalba will be taking you through those performance shows.Â If you haven’t been reading her recaps of The Voice, you’re missing out!