Have you ever played a well rounded drinking game before?

You would be trashed within 20 minutes of starting this game if you were watching any major network coverage of the election.

I play drinking games at least twice a week because I am a professional drunk — yet seemingly not an alcoholic — and I can tell you right now that this is the worst way to set up a drinking game such as you have suggested.

First, select one (or two, if you must) “sound bites” to drink to every time they are uttered. Keep them simple, such as your favorite candidates name or the name of your local congressman (they are all up for re-election this year so it ought’ to be easy for anyone to find their local candidate).

Next, take a shot every time a state is projected, or “called” to have won for either presidential candidate.

If you need to drink more than this, your probably married to your sister, or your not a professional drunk, just an alcoholic.

You and your grandparents can head out to bingo, I’m heading to the bar with hundreds of my closest friends to partake in one of the biggest celebrations this country will see in my lifetime. And yes, there will be shots involved.

Instead, I’ll be playing Election Night Bingo–you can download the cards here: http://urbzen.com/2008/11/03/election-bingo/