Alanis Morissette

I'll take the alternative.

Back in the late 90's you could not turn on a radio without hearing Rob Thomas wailing on about being bent, or 3 AM, or just forgetting about it. I wish I had forgotten about Matchbox Twenty, but here they are, ready to spill out their "alternative rock" all over Key Arena. Blyeah. The musicians of course are very talented, the singer's voice like buttah, but I cannot hear a single one of their songs without automatically reaching for the radio dial, whether one exists or not.

Back in the day before itunes and mp3s, many-a good band was completely destroyed by radio overplay; this is probably the case with Matchbox Twenty but it is way too late now. Calling themselves 'alternative' is just plain wrong; they are the junior-high cheerleader of rock bands, palatable for all, shallow, and easy; everyone tolerates them for their shiny hair but no one really likes them. This is the music they play in three-star hotel bars so no one gets offended or riled up.

I'm not sure who will be going to this concert, because everyone I know who came of age during the band's heyday could not be more sick of them. A new wave of junior-high cheerleaders, perhaps? Their mothers? I don't know, and I probably won't be finding out. Just forget about it.